- Kimberley Guillemet
― Bebe Moore Campbell
We have all heard the saying, “It’s okay not to be okay.” And while this is a true statement, it is often difficult for women and people of color, in particular, to accept and internalize its truth. This is because we are keenly aware that we live in a society where our color, our gender, and other aspects of our beings are often viewed as deficits. As such, it is not surprising that when we feel stressed and mentally burdened, we are reluctant to admit it. We do not want to say it out loud.
There have been recent reports in the media about the increasing number of young women in mental health crisis. And for women of color, more mainstream mental health challenges are compounded by the additional stressors of systemic racism, social exclusion, cultural norms, and higher levels of self-criticism and judgment. It is undoubtedly the case that women of color weather more psychological and social burdens than their counterparts who do not identify as people of color. Decades of research support this.
However, I believe that one of the most important factors impacting our mental wellness is how we view ourselves and what standards or value systems we use to gauge our own worth. All of this hinges on our mindset.
I would posit that a healthy mindset must be anchored in the truth of who we are.
So who are we?
We are overcomers, conquerors, innovators, intellectuals, creators, storytellers, trailblazers, history-makers, arbiters of justice, nurturers, healers, champions of light and love, and so much more.
And please understand, being all of these things does not preclude us from needing to attend to our mental health. In fact, the most successful and well-known trailblazers of current and past generations have openly acknowledged that they regularly engage in mental wellness practices. Many have also shared the sad reality of what has transpired when they have neglected to do so.
Our World Changer of the Month, Bebe Moore Campbell, a world-renowned author, was also a staunch mental health advocate. She became a champion of mental health awareness after weathering the challenges of mothering and caring for her immensely talented daughter, actress Maia Campbell, who had been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. The elder Campbell, who was quoted as saying, “Knowing who you are begins in the mind,” also publicly and regularly reiterated that there should be no shame in a person’s acknowledgment of their struggles with mental illness. In other words, needing or seeking out mental health support does not detract from our genius or our exceptionalism. Our mental health is one component among many that comprise who we are. While the state of our mental health does not define us, it should not be ignored or neglected.
As we begin Mental Health Awareness Month, we should celebrate the life of Bebe Moore Campbell and allow her legacy to ignite a fire within all of us to prioritize our own wellbeing.
- Kimberley Guillemet
― President Jimmy Carter ¹
We recently took our daughters and nieces to a dude ranch in Arizona. In deciding to move forward with the vacation, my husband and I agreed that we were taking a risk, and that we were going to be stepping completely outside of our comfort zones in going on this adventure. After all, none of us had been to a dude ranch before and had been wholly born, raised, and socialized in urban environments. We knew not what we would encounter. I certainly had some reservations about how we might be received, but this looked like it could be a tremendous experience for the girls. Ultimately, we decided not to self-select out because of fear.
Upon our arrival at the ranch, we found the staff to be warm and welcoming. In taking in our surroundings, we noticed that we were the only people of color on the ranch and were able to surmise that the majority of guests likely lived a very different existence than we did. From ethnic background, to politics, to regional representation, we were very different from everyone else that was present. All of that notwithstanding, a beautiful thing happened during our time at the dude ranch: we connected with our fellow humans, despite our differences. One of my nieces developed an unlikely friendship with an older former military octogenarian from North Carolina. Another one of my nieces developed a friendship with a girl much younger than she from Lansing, Michigan. One of my daughters met a young lady who shared her unusual name, who had a completely different background and upbringing than she did. And yet another one of my daughters learned how to wrangle a miniature horse from a little girl from Ohio.
Whatever concerns we had about how our family would be received were completely assuaged early on. We not only benefited from the connections we made with people who were very different from us, but we know that we edified others through our presence at the ranch.
It is natural for humans to want to stay in protective cocoons, and to not venture too far outside our comfort zones into terrain that might seem unfamiliar. After all, when we go into uncharted territory, we open ourselves up to the unknown. As parents, we want to protect our children and avoid exposing them to experiences that might be harmful to them. But when we live in a way that prioritizes risk aversion over all else, we can miss out on living. Our self-insulation can work so well that we can become detached from other humans and forgo experiences that diverse human interaction can bring.
At this moment in our nation's history, where we find ourselves at the height of division and separation, I implore us all to push ourselves outside of our comfort zones and extend a hand across the aisle. We are all more similar than we know. And if we sit in judgment of one another and prevent ourselves from loving each other, we will miss prime opportunities for connection and growth.
¹ President Jimmy Carter, a Caucasian Southerner with a military background, was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize in 2002 for his work to find peaceful solutions to international conflicts and to advance democracy and human rights of all people. His life and his legacy are prime examples of the importance of cross-ethnic connection and allyship.
- Kimberley Guillemet
― Kelly Lee Phipps
This month, apropos of Women’s History Month, our World Changer of the Month, Dr. Alexa Canday, is a woman who constantly broke down barriers that were put in place by others, as well as her own internal mental barriers. Despite becoming the first African American and first female pediatric neurosurgeon in the United States, Dr. Canady has openly acknowledged her struggles with imposter syndrome.
Imposter syndrome is a real phenomenon that disproportionately plagues women and people of color. And for those of us who have dealt with it, its most challenging aspect is that it tends to resurface repeatedly over the course of our lives. Each time we face a new challenge professionally, academically or otherwise, we are at risk of falling back into the familiar cycle of self-doubt.
As a person who has personally struggled with imposter syndrome, I can speak from experience. I know the truth about myself: I am intelligent, capable, talented, and can accomplish any task set before me. Whatever it is, I can and will get it done. However, I believe what makes imposter syndrome the mental behemoth that it is, is that despite knowing the truth about ourselves, we’re constantly plagued by negative external messaging and signaling from others. As we progress through life, the “others'' can take different forms. Sometimes the others are our peers. Sometimes they are our teachers and instructors. Other times, our supervisors. Sometimes the “others'' are people who call themselves our friends. These others, whether motivated by a misplaced superiority complex, their own insecurity and self-doubt, or just plain animus, plant seeds of negativity in an effort to make us doubt ourselves and impose limits on what we can achieve. They fan the flames of self-doubt that can turn into a raging fire that will consume our joy, self-confidence and ambition; and ultimately, cause us to self-select out of opportunities.
The factors that exist that create fertile ground for the lies that feed imposter syndrome to grow are mental. The imposter syndrome battle is fought wholly in our mind. We can win the battle by refusing to internalize the lies and by choosing to believe the truth about ourselves.
How do we keep the truth about who we are at the forefront of our minds?
First, we must remind ourselves of the facts about who we are, our qualifications and what we have accomplished. We are not where we are today by some fluke or stroke of luck. We worked hard, likely harder than most, to accomplish our goals.
Next, we must be intentional about the company we keep. We must guard our hearts and our minds, and one of the best ways to do so is by truly vetting our friends and keeping around us a genuinely supportive group of trusted advisers who encourage us, exhort us and are honest with us.
Finally, we must ultimately choose who will get to decide what course our lives will take. Will we believe the lies promulgated by those who are not acting in our best interests, thereby empowering them to decide for us, or will we decide for ourselves?
I don’t know about you, but I choose the latter.
