― Barbara Jordan
I recently visited Boston, Massachusetts, one of the oldest areas of our country. The old colonial architecture was beautiful; I truly appreciated the opportunity to see and touch places that I had only read about in history books. As I considered our democracy, I began to ponder a thought: our democracy was born out of the desire to permit free speech, facilitate the free exchange of ideas, and the ability to engage in personal choice, but today despite all of our advances in various arenas, we seem to have gotten away from this framework as we treat one another in unkind and intolerant ways and succumb to “cancel culture.”
Cancel culture is the idea that a person or a group of people can and should be eliminated, rendered non-factors, excommunicated from society, culture, or an “in-group” because they have done or said something with which others do not agree. The cancelation of people for having different viewpoints, or even making mistakes, has become so prevalent that even our elementary-aged children readily understand what it means for someone to be canceled. Indeed, they often engage in the practice themselves.
I believe that cancel culture is especially damaging for our young people. Adults have the benefit of life experience and perspective. We know that even our worst moments will pass and our worst mistakes will fade from memory. Missteps will be forgiven, and mercy will ultimately be shown. Things that seem insurmountable today will be something we will laugh at in the future. Youth unfortunately, do not have the benefit of the foresight that often comes with life experience and for them, cancelation can feel permanent and, even, fatal. For them, it's difficult to see beyond the moment, look forward to a brighter day or understand there will be joy in the morning, even if weeping endures for a night.
We must make a collective decision to facilitate a social culture of grace, forgiveness and mutual respect. As citizens of a democracy, we must all understand that sometimes one person’s exercise of their rights will conflict with or even offend our own. Sometimes we will not agree. Sometimes other people’s choices will make us angry, but we should never make it our goal to dismantle another human being or break their spirit. There are many people with whom I do not agree, but I understand they are entitled to their opinions and choices, as am I.
As we enter a season during which we will be invited to exercise one of our most important rights as Americans--the right to vote--I hope that we will remember to engage one another, especially those with whom we disagree, with respect. As we do, our own perspectives may shift as we learn about people who think and live differently than we do and we may be able to help expand perspectives of others as we share who we are.d have enough.
- Kimberley Guillemet
― Kimberley Baker Guillemet
Like many of us, I have a whole list of things I would endeavor to accomplish if I had unlimited amounts of time and resources. I would increase my morning devotional and meditation time. I would take up piano again, practice my Spanish more often and even pick up another language, or two. I would write another book. I would remodel our house to make it bigger so that we can host more family and friends. I would travel more often, and widely. I would engage in more regular and more intentional self-care practices. The list goes on and on.
But I don't do these things in the amount and with the regularity that I would like to. And some of them I have not started at all. Why? I have told myself that I do not have “enough.” I don't have enough time. I don't have enough money. I don’t have enough resources. I don’t have enough of whatever is needed.
A few weeks ago, I was challenged in that mindset by a sermon by Pastor Steve Furtick. He likened the “not enough” mentality with a scarcity mindset. Upon hearing this, I immediately felt uncomfortable. I thought, Does this apply to me? Seeking reprieve from conviction, I initially rebuffed the thought, telling myself, I am a master at time management and I'm quite frugal. I really, actually, truthfully do not have what is needed to accomplish the things on my aspirational list. I need more time. I need more resources. I need more money. I just need more.
But then I thought some more and asked myself, Do I?
My husband and I discussed the issue a few nights later and as we talked, we remembered a time in our marriage when we made less than a third of what we make today in salary, but still had to clothe, feed and house the same four children we have now. We remember praying for a salary increase so that we could make ends meet. Since that time, God has provided for us in spades, such that not only have all our needs been met, but we have been able to bless family members, friends, and even strangers with time, resources, food, company and more.
Yet, here I am, still saying that it's not enough.
Really, when is it enough? When do we decide that we have enough? I have had to challenge my thinking in this area and what I have come to realize is that it becomes enough when I decide it's enough. Please understand that I am not advocating a delusional mindset where we convince ourselves that we have resources that we do not or time that does not exist. The reality is that time, money and other resources are indeed finite. However, we have choice in how we use them. We have choice in how we choose to steward our money and we have choice in how we utilize our limited time.
Starting from a foundation of grace and understanding that nothing in life has perfect timing or execution, I'm giving myself permission to allocate time and resources to pursuits that give me joy and that I feel help me fulfill my purpose and mission on this planet. Of course, that cannot be to the exclusion of required activities that ensure that we're able to feed, clothe and house ourselves and provide for those who depend on us. However, I don't believe that our heart calls us to move in specific directions and engage in various endeavors for no good reason.
As we close out 2023 and prepare for 2024, let’s give ourselves permission to come from a mindset of abundance and assume that we do indeed have enough.
- Kimberley Guillemet
― Jelani Clay
Since I posted my blog last month, war has erupted in the Middle East and thousands upon thousands of lives have been lost. We are inundated with information and images chronicling the atrocities by and through all forms of media day in and day out. Some of us may feel a sense of responsibility to ingest large amounts of this information and imagery for various reasons. We may want to show solidarity or bear witness to the events from a remote location. And in addition to the events happening in other parts of the world, in the United States, we continue to navigate our own tragedies, many of which have become commonplace: alarmingly high rates of homelessness, mental illness, substance abuse, suicide and and all manner of homicides. For many, hope seems elusive, to say the least.
Though I am not a psychologist, a psychiatrist or a therapist, I am a human who has been able to navigate adversity with my sense of hope intact. People often ask me how I have been able to retain a positive outlook despite having to walk through some very difficult moments and experiences, some intensely personal and private, and some collective and shared.
The answer is mindset management. In addition to holding tightly to my faith, I vigilantly guard my mind. Just as we are what we eat, what we ingest is what we become. What we put into our hearts and minds matters. The media that we consume, the books that we read, the people with whom we choose to spend our time, the music to which we listen, all have tremendous impact on our sense of emotional well-being. This is not to say that we should not remain aware of world events and extend love and show empathy toward our fellow humans. Quite the contrary. I believe that it is our responsibility to show care toward other humans who are navigating tragedy--both directly and indirectly. And if we are able to lend a helping hand, it is our duty to do so. However, we cannot expect that constant inundation with negativity will bode well for our mental well-being over time. It will eventually take its toll. I believe this is especially true for young people.
I encourage you to guard your heart and your mind. Be intentional about the time you spend ingesting difficult and/or tragic events. Give yourself the space and grace to rest, both physically and mentally. Allow yourself to experience joy and celebrate the good in the world and in your life.
